Stuff That Looks Like Jesus

Old Picture

Tue, 25 Oct 2011 13:29:19 -0700

Two decades ago, our savior decided to appear as a barely discernible shade in this old, poorly developed photo of clouds from 1990 (upper-right corner). The owner kept such a priceless artifact without telling anyone for years, but now he has decided to share Jesus's blessing with everyone (oh, and he needs money). Starting bid's only about $10,000!

Handmade Cross

Mon, 24 Oct 2011 15:38:11 -0700

A woodcarver made a cross for his recently baptized nephew, but his old minister grandfather realized that Jesus had blessed the cross with an image of his face! Rev. Bloodworth likened the image to the Shroud of Turin, but, unlike all of the images on this website, that is a well-established fraud.

Pareidolia Roundup

Sun, 23 Oct 2011 12:33:58 -0700

Recently, I've stumbled across a couple of amusing non-religious pareidolia roundups. I think this one is my favorite.

Another one for the "pareidolia or pareidolia?" file.

FedEx pareidolia.

A woman named Maya Erdelyi is raising money on Kickstart for a cool looking animated film about pareidolia, albeit in a bit of an artsy-fartsy way. Still, she does send gifts to donors of $5 or more.

Looking for more regular doses of pareidolia? There's a pareidolia twitter feed as well as a reddit tab.

Countertop

Fri, 21 Oct 2011 11:34:53 -0700

Readers Brad and Beverly from California recently discovered a "crystal clear" image of Jesus in their new kitchen countertop. I can only guess that Jesus is there to make sure they don't eat any figs.

Pen

Thu, 20 Oct 2011 21:37:19 -0700

In his most convincing appearance yet, Jesus made his image appear on a homemade pen, which is now up for sale on ebay. Seriously, I'm convinced. It looks just like the LORD. Praise Jesus!

Shirt #2

Tue, 18 Oct 2011 14:10:41 -0700

Earlier this year, reader Joey G made a tie dye shirt in chemistry class, and after washing it, discovered that Jesus had blessed the shirt with an image of his face. Maybe Jesus is trying to tell him to become a hippie.

Pizza

Mon, 17 Oct 2011 19:00:47 -0700

Jesus took a trip Down Under when he appeared in this pizza at a pizza shop in Australia. This image may be one of Jesus's creepiest. The restaurant made the only logical choice and put the pizza on ebay where it was sold for $153 Australian, which, from my understanding, is something like $6 American.

Chair #2

Mon, 17 Oct 2011 12:50:20 -0700

After ten years of owning this rocking chair, Lou Balducci of California finally discovered what is "clearly" an image of Jesus on it. His family and friends call it a blessing. I don't know about that, but Jesus clearly doesn't look pleased about where he ended up.

Update: Balducci ended up putting the chair on ebay for a mere $25,000. Strangely, there were no bids.

Petrified Wood

Fri, 14 Oct 2011 08:21:25 -0700

Jesus decided to make his face appear in a piece of petrified wood allegedly over 178 million years old. Maybe he wanted to show off for the dinosaurs. The image is so blatant that it only took the current owner a few years to see it!

Of course, such a valuable image had to end up on ebay. It's only $9,800, so what are you waiting for?

More Clouds

Wed, 12 Oct 2011 19:23:19 -0700

On Sunday night, Carlos McDaniel looked up into the sky, and saw the face of the LORD. And by that I mean he saw Jesus appear in some clouds in his usual indecipherable form.

The article's comments have some other helpful suggestions for what the image looks like, ranging from Yoda to Osama bin Laden.

Pareidolia Roundup

Sun, 09 Oct 2011 22:06:20 -0700

Last week, some Catholics in Poland were convinced that a piece of Jesus's heart appeared in a cracker. Apparently this brown spot was identified by two doctors as heart tissue, which makes one wonder about Jesus's anatomy if tiny bits of heart can just appear in his flesh like that. Hat tip: Ed Brayton.

I somehow managed to stumble across two odd articles asking whether certain "sightings" were paranormal or just pareidolia. Which strikes me as a weird way of asking "is this pareidolia... or is it pareidolia?"

A spooky face appeared in Canadian clouds. If it's god, then he has big ears. Update: There's a pretty cool movie of this cloud formation.

Speaking of cloud images.

Cheeto #2

Sat, 08 Oct 2011 21:14:47 -0700

Reader Jacob Ruwitch found another example of Jesus wanting to play baby again, this time in another cheeto. I'm not sure I want to know what that knob sticking out of it is.

Banana Chip

Sat, 08 Oct 2011 21:12:34 -0700

Reader Macayla Graham discovered Jesus being crucified in a banana chip. For someone who was brutally tortured, Jesus sure seems eager to remind himself and everyone else about the incident.

Turtle

Tue, 04 Oct 2011 22:24:30 -0700

Reader Crystal Conte recently discovered Jesus hiding out in the shell of her pet turtle, Joey. She's now apparently shopping for buyers, because, well, what other use does a vague Jesus image have?

Cat #2

Mon, 03 Oct 2011 21:23:02 -0700

While most cats may think they are gods, reader Beth Bertrand noticed that her cat has been blessed by an image of one! Though I think it looks more like Wolverine, who is way more badass than Jesus anyway.

Potato #2

Mon, 03 Oct 2011 12:09:54 -0700

A couple of years ago, reader Michele's 13-year-old daughter decided was very worried about going back to school due to bullying kids, and so prayed to God for a sign. The result was a mushy Jesus image in a potato, which apparently chased the bullies away.

Nintendo Entertainment System

Sun, 02 Oct 2011 20:51:58 -0700

A woman who just purchased an NES off of ebay for $31 just got the deal of her life: the NES came with an image of Jesus at no additional cost. I always knew that Jesus is old school.

A milestone reached

Sun, 02 Oct 2011 10:52:44 -0700

I don't plan making a habit of this, but I am in the middle of going through a massive backlog of emails and submissions, and I discovered something that made me very excited: STLLJ's first hate mail!

The very thing that you accuse others of is what you are guilty of yourself. You make a mockery of all of these findings. Your attitude is cynical and accusitory. If all of these people are greedy in the name of Jesus, What are you? I hope someday you actually do come across something divine and spiritual and beautiful and valuable. Next I hope you reach out to someone just like you. You make a mockery of people and God and your humor is at their expense.

Considering Brian would kill himself along with me before putting up any ads, I don't think "greedy" is an appropriate description. In fact, it's a bit unfair that Jesus has made so many other people money, but not me. Does he not appreciate this website devoted to him?

Receipt

Sat, 01 Oct 2011 20:33:51 -0700

This summer, Jacob Simmons and Gentry Lee Sutherland came home to find the face of Jesus burned into a Wal-Mart receipt. Perhaps it is Jesus recognizing that Wal-Mart can save you more than he can?

Lightning

Sat, 01 Oct 2011 20:27:36 -0700

A Facebook acquaintance of mine just upload this pic from Hurricane Irene, the last of a series of natural disasters to strike the mid-Atlantic area of the US. I'm not sure this was a good sign, though. Considering all those other natural disasters, I think this was a sign only of Jesus looking for survivors to smite.

Update: I'm back!

Sat, 01 Oct 2011 20:20:37 -0700

Hello, STLLJ readers (any who are still out there). I know I abandoned you for some months now in favor of menial and obviously less important things like work and law school, but I'm going to try to start updating at least once a week again, starting with a backlog of reader submissions. So send those pictures in!

Shed Window

Thu, 30 Dec 2010 14:46:00 -0800

Jesus appeared on the window of a shed, and the family did the good Christian thing: put him up on ebay for a bunch of money. They're only asking for $1.5 million and the image is not at all discernible, so it's a steal!

Rock #7

Tue, 28 Dec 2010 16:26:37 -0800

Jesus showed up on another rock, and quickly showed up on ebay for the low, low price of $5,500. The auction ended yesterday, and shockingly had zero bids. Do you people not love Jesus?

More X-rays

Mon, 27 Dec 2010 13:01:57 -0800

There's a new report of a cancer patient finding Jesus on her X-ray after surgery earlier this month. The woman claims the image has strengthened her faith. That vague outline could be nothing but Jesus!

This news article on this story has a video with a brief interview.

More Tiles

Fri, 24 Dec 2010 13:20:55 -0800

In a new example of divine voyeurism, reader Terri Smith discovered Jesus on another tile in another bathroom. This Jesus looks especially creepy. Look at that nose!