Well I am very glad that you asked me to explain American basketball to you as I am an expert, but remember the definition of an expert is someone with a briefcase who is five miles from home. But I am just the guy to explain basketball to you as I went to a college basketball game tonight and University of Alabama at Birmingham played Memphis and it was very exciting and all the fans jumped up and down, And someone won and someone lost and
every six, or maybe seven seconds, some tall player jumped in the air and then sometimes they all jumped in the air and then someone would score a basket or maybe not and then the tall people would run up and down the court and then there would be timeouts and the coaches looked very sternly at their players and drew diagrams on their whiteboards and all the players would nod very wisely and they would run out onto the court and they must have not listened to the coach, as they did the same thing, they all jumped in the air and ran up and down the court and made some baskets and missed some baskets and then the ref every now and then would blow a whistle and point at a player because that player had fouled another player and I am thinking, that has to be bad for the player’s self-esteem when the ref points out his mistake in front of thousands of people. And sometimes the ball would be rolling on the floor and all the players would dive for it and roll around the floor and the tall guy that got the ball would pass it to another tall guy who would run down the court with it and maybe make or miss a basket and if he missed a basket a LOT of tall people jumped very high and someone got the ball and he would pass it to another very tall player who would run up and down the court and maybe pass it to another tall person, but sometimes when they were passing, the ball would be stolen by the other team who would run up and down the court and jump high in the air and sometimes all the running would stop and a player would take a free throw and either make it or miss it and if he missed it, a bunch of tall people would jump in the air and fight over the ball and run up and down the court and that was the basketball game and I don’t know how I can make it any clearer. Oh yes, someone won and someone lost. I think the tall people won and the tall people lost. And another very important thing to know is that they don’t serve liquor at college basketball games which is a shame as the game might be easier to understand if they served alcohol, or at least it might be more fun to watch tall people keep jumping up and down.